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Just Breathe

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A meaningful post about life, for my favorite birthday boy :D:D:D [27 Nov 2007|04:21pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

And it's a serious post, because if I'm going to post once every 3 months, I want it to be good.
So once upon a time- I think I posted it here, but I'm not sure. But once upon a time, as in last Spring when I was unwittingly facing a summer at home that was NOT what I had planned, I remember thinking that this forced summer at home would be a good thing because it would hopefully help me detach a little from home. And it worked. Too well. There's so much I love about home, but it used to feel like there was so much that I loved about home that I couldn't get here at school. But I don't see those things anymore. I LOVE my friends from home; I think they're so incredible and can never be replaced. But I never get to see them. I don't keep in touch when I'm away, and when I go back everyone's DATING each other and I'm like the 43rd wheel, which SUCKS. There's no real culture there that I miss; I miss Mexican restaurants and driving aimlessly, but what good did those ever really bring me anyway? Really the only reason for going home was for my family, especially my dad and sister, but isn't the point of family to take advantage of them so you just assume they'll always be there?
This sounds much more obnoxious and bitchy than I meant for it to. I still adore home. I still harp on WV every chance I get. I still adore all my friends from home, whether or not I ever get to see them. SO, since I missed a Thanksgiving post, I'm going to post all the things that I'm thankful for related to HOME, because it's easy to get off track from being away and I think it will do me some good.
SO. Home. I am thankful for:
-My father. #1, hands down. I've already called him twice today. He's my best friend and the smartest person on the planet, I'm convinced. His is the only advice I truly take. I'm thankful for everything he does for me and for the rest of the family- which is legitimately EVERYTHING, because he's the only functional leader, anyway. He is everything I want to be, period.
-My sister. She's so goddmaned smart and adorable, and I can't bear to think of her leaving for college in 2 years. RIDICULOUS. But sometimes she calls me to tell me something funny she found on Wikipedia, and it's just so adorable.
-My brother. Really, I am. Because sometimes he really does make an effort to be nice to me and get interested in things I'm doing, and it's really nice.
-My house. It's falling apart- like literally- but it's the only HOME I've ever known. I have a big ol' room that's a big ol' mess everytime I go back and the most comfortable bed the world has ever seen, I'm pretty sure.
-Mountains. No matter how much I start to reject WV, I can never lose any love for mountains. Mountains and trees and paths and biiiiiig open skies and winding roads and night drives and lots and lots of stars.
-Capital Street. It's my favorite street in Charleston. Taylor Books and Inta Juice and Ellen's and the library and the Peanut Shoppe and the levy and cute little trees and brick paths. SO CUTE.
-Mountaineers. And team spirit and the love of an entire state for one team. And NEW ORLEANS on January 7th. So excited.
-Small planes in an airport that's NEVER crowded or delayed.
-Betsy. And singing sooooo loudly in the car.
-Blackwater Falls. Easily my favorite place. Ever, actually.
-Jonny Blevins. As a representative of all my friends from home becaseu I don't want to go through all of you, but I love you ALL. But I really love Jonny Blevins because he's always ready to do ridiculous things, like let me drive a 4-wheeler around his yard or watch shitty MTV until 4 am, which I really can't do with anyone here. And because he just has this WAY about him that no one can resist- I've never met someone who didn't like him and didn't want to be his friend. Who wouldn't want to be friends with JONNY? And he sings in the car with me sometimes, and he just makes me smile all the time and I genuinely look forward to seeing him. I truly believe Jonny is capable of anything, and whatever it is that he someday goes off and does, I hope that I at least get to see from afar, because Jonny Blevins is an adventure, and I am thankful, really honestly thankful to have him- and all my other amazing friends- in my life.

[ 2 photos -- say cheese ]

Ok I think I really will do a summer post. [23 Aug 2007|01:10pm]
Because I was thinking about it last night. First, I made a list back in the day on my AIM profile of things I wanted to do this summer:
-Watch all of Rogers and Hammerstein- Ok that didn't workout. But I did watch South Pacific, which I'd never seen, and I liked it. And I can't watch Oklahoma because I lent it to Jackie Bowen- but I went to see her in it and despite the miserable Preshow and the fact that it was 10x too long, it was pretty cute and she looked gorgeous- and I went with Justin and Bethany and we ate fruit rollups the whole time, so you know it was a good time.
-Didn't read Genome, but it's still on my list of things to do- maybe I'll read it after I take Genetics this semester. Plus I did read a lot of other things, which does make me really happy, and I still have 2 more books to go!
-I did spend plenty of time with Justin Minsker, though never enough. But it was always fabulous.
-I did actually talk to my sister, and I think we had a good time this summer. I mean we even played Monopoly this morning, that's love.
-And quality time with Betsy is always amazing. We went on road trips that were amazing.
-I DID go visit Michael Emery and I DID fall in love with Chester, and I hit some important firsts. Fabulous. AND we went to visit Annie Bowling in South Carolina, which was equally as amazing.
-I DID workout, and found a new gym, and found a new workout buddy, and now I feel so much better going back into season in September. It really is a huge weight off my shoulders.
-And I DID play with my dad, who is still the man. Thank goodness.
-Also, had a fabulously lazy family vacation at the beach, the best kind that only last a few days, don't include any huge fights, and hit the highlights- long days on the beach, a lazy river, delicious hush puppies, and mini golf.
-Spent so much time with my sweet grandfather. Moved him into Edgewood Summit, started cleaning out his house of my grandmother's stuff, need to finish that tomorow. Hopefully I lifted the weight off my dad for a little while so he didn't have to worry as much, at least until I leave.
-Discovered new things about myself, a little more superficial than usual- curly hair, new boob size, 
-Enhanced my music selection with sweet new illegal downloads. Also found sweet cheap DVDs.
-Lost a roommate, gained a new one in just a few weeks. Eek.

All in all, I think I really did what I meant to do- secured home as what it needs to be, a comfortable place to return to but something I'm also ready to move on from- finally. Now I just need to start to find something actually to... do.
[ 2 photos -- say cheese ]

End of the Summer posts?!?! [15 Aug 2007|11:46pm]
Why is everyone doing them?!?! I feel like I should but it's not the end of MY summer, I still have a week and a half left and a goal to fulfill- I want to give blood before I return. Luckily I think there's a blood drive this Saturday, anyone wanna come with?
But, given that everyone else is doing it, I will make an "End of the Summer Post". But I think I already did that with my last post. So I have only one question that remains: why is the end of the summer the best? I have had more fun in the month of August than the rest of the summer combined. If the whole summer had been this way, it would have been the best summer ever. Well, either way, I can look back on the summer and be happy about how it ended. And I will continue to look forward to coming home, though maybe not in the same way.
But I love you guys so much. I hope no one ever thinks that I am throwing home away or going off and forgetting all of you. I'll never find another group of people that I love this same way.
This wasn't as deep as everyone else's. Maybe that's because I'm watching Mom and Dad Save the World- which has the mean kid from Salute Your Shorts in it, haha.


I'm going to miss you like a child misses their blanket but I've GOT to get a move on with my liiiiiiiiiiiiife wah wah waaaaaaaaah whine whine whiiiiiiine


Also, I'm twenty years old now. WHOA.
[ 1 photo -- say cheese ]

Livejournal: A Short Compilation of Life's Realizations. [12 Aug 2007|10:51pm]
1) What a fabulous birthday party. Except that my birthday isn't for another few days. Maybe I'll wear the crown around the house on Wednesday and pretend.
2) Loving last night so much makes me realize, all at once, that it's time to part and that that parting is such sweet sorrow. There's so much that I want to do that I can't do here, and there's so much that I want to do HERE that I can't do because I'm not. So it's time to decide and commit to that decision. And I know what it is and I am sad and so excited about it all at once. But having a house full of screaming people that I've known for so long, some since I started formal education at the tender (just-turned!) age of 5 is such a fabulous feeling. These are people that I hope I never lose, even if I am terrible at keeping in touch for months at a time. I don't think I'll ever find other Kelly Trimbles or Kari Fosses or Annie Bowlings or Jonny Blevinses or Caitie Morelands anywhere else, much less have them all together and adoring one another. But in other ways, being home makes me sad because I feel like I don't fit anymore like I used to. Why is this such drama and why do I subject everyone I know to listening to me bitch about it ever single day?
3) I love Ne-Yo's "Do You", which is so strange because he has a high voice that I love when I HATE Akon for the same reason. HUM. Whatever, I'll just keep listening to it on repeat and you can keep your judgements to yourself.
4) Why and how has P Diddy gone crazy with power? Has he ever really done anything SUBSTANTIAL? Prove it.
5) I go back to school in LESS THAN 2 weeks. WTF?! So eventually, I need to pack. Oh dear. Ng-a-Ling, will you be at the Swells for orientation?
[ 3 photos -- say cheese ]

[08 Aug 2007|11:19am]
I lent out my copy of Life of Pi that I bought recently and never got to read and now I don't remember to whom I lent it and when and now I want to read ittttttttt.


Beach was fabulous. And I need something else to think about because I am obsesssssssssed with my birthday and being Pink. And it's so obnoxious.
[ say cheese ]

[02 Aug 2007|09:14pm]
Ok so tomorrow I'm leaving for the beach and I'm not taking my computer because I'm way too obsessed with it. Also, I'm far too excited to be Pink, and it's too early to be planning. But when we get back, grandpa's birthday on Wednesday and then it's all Pink all the time until Saturday. And it's my offical Birthday Season so be excitedddddddd
[ say cheese ]

[01 Aug 2007|01:35pm]

So I think the camping idea for my birthday is shot, because to get a cabin we would have to get it for a week. But I'm keeping that dream alive. How cute would it be to do it in like 3 years after our 5-year high school reunion or something? Go to the reunion, make fun of the people we always hated, and then those of us that we still love can go party like rock stars for a week and then go back to having real lives.

Or maybe that'll have to be after the 10-year reunion, since I'm pretty sure none of us will have decent enough jobs to take a week off and pay for a cabin in 3 years. Whatever. Keep the dream alive.

[ 1 photo -- say cheese ]

[30 Jul 2007|08:56pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

I think... my boobs have finally grown. Since when was age NINETEEN the time for things to change? Curly hair, boobs that are actually visible...


Ok, now that we've all had ample time to think about my boobs, let us move on to today's observations. One, I love Huntington. And everyone there. And Justin Minsker is possibly my life's hero. Despite the fact that my legs are covered in so many bugbites I'm about to tear my jeans scratching them, he's still my most favorite. And Jonny and Kristen. Also most favorites.
Also, I love most of the Sonic commercials. Most of them. Some are just stupid.
Also, I am reading a novel by D.H. Lawrence. It's good, but a little heavy, especially considering it's summer and the last 3 books I read were all Harry Potter. Not exactly on the same levels. But I'm already halfway through and can't just stop now, right? Anyone read Women In Love? I like it, but it's a little cynical, if you will. 
On the same note (not really), we're finally taking another family beach trip to Myrtle Beach, which we hanve't done in YEARS. It's only going to be for 4 nights, but so long as I get hush puppies, mini golf, a lazy river and a sweet tan, I don't care. Maybe I'll actually send postcards since I've been so terrible at returning letters all summer. Sorry, friends who are nice.
Also, I've decided I dislike long hair on boys, very much. Mostly because I'm watching Speed and Keanu Reeves is MUCH cuter with a buzz cut.

Dang I love worthless LiveJournal posts.

[ 2 photos -- say cheese ]

For the beautiful Rachel Wilson [20 Jul 2007|10:12pm]
[ mood | So much better. ]

THINGS I LOVE:
1) Old friends that you don't have to see or even talk to for months on end but are still always there :D:D:D
2) Getting back into reading
3) Spooning
4) Cooking
5) White Russian Thursdays. Wednesday I was in a horrible mood and then Thursday night was the easily the best night of the summer, hands down. Regular thing? I think yes.


Also, this Harry Potter hype makes me smile this time around rather than cringe, for some reason. Maybe because I know it's the last night. For all my Bah Humbug-ery, I will admit I'm a little excited to read the last book. When Katy finishes it in one of her 2-night HP reading marathons.

OKLAHOMA! Tomorrow night!!! Fab Fab Fab.

[ 1 photo -- say cheese ]

Things I hate: [18 Jul 2007|11:08pm]
1) Having nothing to do
2) People that don't respect The Wedding Singer for the glory that it truly is
3) Politics
4) Worrying
5) My everyday over-enthusiasm is thought to mean that I am IN LOVE WITH every boy I meet.


I missed my endorphins today and got absolutely NO hugs. I'm in a rancid mood. COINCIDENCE?! I think not.
[ 4 photos -- say cheese ]

Still stuck on this camping for birthday idea [12 Jul 2007|10:56pm]
Does anyone/family own a cabin anywhere in WV where we can go and have a bunch of people camp/hang out? Or any ideas? This is my DEAREST heart's desire for my WV summer and my 20th birthday and I am at a loss of where to go. We want to get a bunch of people, preferably in a cabin, somewhere where we can camp and be loud and chill out and it would be so fabulous. Ideas, PLEASE?!
[ 3 photos -- say cheese ]

Respectable grade point average, nothing. [11 Jul 2007|11:01pm]
[ mood | calm ]

WHOA KIDS. Nutella is this DELICIOUS spread I had never heard of until I went to school, and thought no one around here sold until I saw it at Target. It's like peanut butter- but CHOCOLATE hazelnut flavored. It's CHOCOLATE spread and it's FABULOUS. On bread. On crackers. On a knife by itself. My friend Raashi used to make "brownies'' that were actually death bombs- brownie mix in cupcake tins with WHOLE Hershey's kisses mixed in (so they're all melty when you bite in) ICED with Nutella. The most AMAZING things you've EVER eaten. Plus they were like a pound apiece. At our Nutella party, we will eat them. OR let's just mix the Nutella party into our sweet birthday weekend. Which is still happening. Hope your calenders are all marked.
ALSO, CARRIE NG, MY LITTLE YELLOW FRIEND, I LOVE HAVING YOU ON MY LIVEJOURNAL. I am at home but I'll be back August 25th, can we play?
South Carolina this weekend with Caitie to see miss Annie Bowling, whom I have missed for so long. Should be fabulous because short vacations are the best- you always feel like you have to make the most of your time and they feel the most relaxing, somehow. Plus, sweet jams on the way down. It shall be fantastic.


In more serious speak, I am worried that I am wasting my college career. I mean I adore Wellesley, I love rowing and everything about it, I love the singing group I'm in and what it adds to my life, and I love the friends that I know and the experiences and memories I'm making. But the SCHOOL part of it I am just NOT inspired by. I LIKE what I'm doing, I am honestly excited about neuroscience- I love the biology and I really think it's interesting, honestly. But I'm not INSPIRED by it. I do what I'm told and I like it but I don't "go the extra mile" like freaking everyone else. I have no direction. Why oh why? My dad says I should run a not-for-profit. Actually, that sounds kind of perfect. Maybe teach small children? I love small children and teaching and biology and anything using people skills. I love people. I'm just afraid of wasting my college years, looking back and thinking "wow, that was fun but I could have done so much MORE!" I think that's what I'm most afraid of. But I love it so much, how could I regret it? Life's questions.

[ 3 photos -- say cheese ]

TODAY'S IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS: [11 Jul 2007|01:13am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

1) I spend too much time on the computer
2) I am getting too much sleep- it gives me headaches
3) Target has NUTELLA. Nutella party, anyone?!

[ 3 photos -- say cheese ]

Journeys (DON'T STOP BELIEVINNNNN) [09 Jul 2007|11:23pm]

I think my favorite vacations are short ones where you just hang out with old friends. This weekend I spent two nights in Chester, which is at the tip of the northern panhandle, with my friend Michael Emery with whom I went to GHA and haven't seen in like 2 years because he lives 4 hours away and goes to ALABAMA. Jerk. But it was so fabulous to have a reunion and travel around the town and just see and hang out with him. The best part of the trip may have been his parents, though. I love parents.
THEN I went to see Kelly Trimble, which pretty much guarantees fabulous times, and we made funfetti cupcakes and then I got fried by the pool for like 3 hours. AMAZING.
Now I'm coming home and for some reason finally feeling like it's actually summer and there's so much I need to do. I'm starting books- TWO in fact, hecks yes, and moving my grandfather out of his house and into Edgewood Summit- which sucks a lot- and I'm going to do projects. PROJECTS!
And let's take trips. Many, many trips. Or just a few. Camping!
Ok so LiveJournal is where I come to ramble. Amazing. Other things on my mind: South Carolina this weekend, I need to go to Huntington soon, we need to plan this birthday adventure that IS happening, and I miss flirting. That's what I miss. I LOVE to flirt, and I can't do it at school and I can't do it here because everyone's DATING and uninterested/ing. WAH. So sad.

[ say cheese ]

[02 Jul 2007|04:05pm]
I had a deep thought of the day, but I don't remember what it was.
Reading. I need to read. Or at least try to. Usually my brain is so fried from coming home from school that I can't force myself to pay that much attention to anything, but I have less than 2 months left of summer. Where does the time go. I need to read. Something REAL. And I have a million books I WANT to read, but I'm thinking of just going to wander around BAM and see what strikes me. Nothing mindless but also nothing overwhelmingly attempting to be profound.
Also, let's talk period symptoms. I hate blaming things on being on my period, but it's so true. I think it's on its way because my face got worse- but then it got better, but my craving for shitty food is SO bad, and I'm tossing moods around, blah blah blah. Why oh why can't I just put a STOP to the whole cycle until I want to have chillins? It's not like it's being put to any USE, anyway. Blaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
[ say cheese ]

Crankin' out letters is my JOB by now. [01 Jul 2007|01:33am]
Cameron Bertolotti, you are my HERO for liking that Aly & AJ song. So everyone else, rock out. MONEY.
This weekend I'm going to Chester, WV, at the tip of the Northern panhandle to see my friend Michael whom I haven't seen in YEARS and I am SOOOOOOOO excited. But otherwise I feel like I'm doing absolutely nothing with my life and I feel terrible because everyone else has jobs and purpose and I'm... sitting around, watching lots of TV, and thinking about how I'm doing nothing. I hate being worthless.
Any more ideas for projects? You guys are supposed to be on this. Christmas wreaths out of pinecones? Great.
Huntington tomorrow maybe?


"Have some more SLOPPY JOES!!!! I made 'em extra SLOPPY for ya! I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy!"
[ 1 photo -- say cheese ]

[28 Jun 2007|04:47pm]
Also. I have a new love for MTV Hits in the afternoon becasue sometimes they play something called "Spread the Love" where I guess people just suggest any love song to dedicate to someone. The songs are SO quality- today we've seen "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler, "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Conner, and "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benetar. It's like my DREAM playlist.
[ 1 photo -- say cheese ]

[28 Jun 2007|04:43pm]
OMG CAMMIE FREAKING LEWIS I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FOUND MY LIVEJOURNAL I'M SO HAPPY!!!! I MISS YOU SO MUUUUUUUUUCH!!!
[ say cheese ]

[27 Jun 2007|11:10pm]
Thanks for all the song suggestions! You guys are amazing! My current OBSESSION is "The Potential Breakup Song" by Aly & AJ. Don't make fun of me, bitches, Aly & AJ are catchy and this song is AMAZING. If you ever drive by me in a car I'll be bouncing up and down insanely- just know that that's what I'm listening to.
OK SWEET BIRTHDAY IDEA: and I need feedback, because the 8 of you out there are all invited, of course.
OK SO Caitie Moreland's birthday is August 9th, mine is the 15th, the weekend between is the 11-12th. I already said I want to go camping. SO what if we found some sort of camp ground or something somewhere, told everyone to bring sleeping bags/tents/whatever, and we all caravan out with all our camping stuff- we all being EVERYONE because we're not picky- and then cook and have fires and sit around and maybe play in the river and have amazing times and then go back the next day. YEAH?!?!
[ 2 photos -- say cheese ]

[24 Jun 2007|09:41pm]
I need fast workout songs to download. Any of the... three of you still there have any suggestions for me to download?
[ 9 photos -- say cheese ]

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